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Alaina Benoit

Blocking Out Comparisons: Social Media Edition

A guide to blocking out social media standards and opening up more room for yourself, your life, and your future. We all want something greater in our own world, big or small, and YOU deserve to have that and to be living the life that you want.


Before we begin, ask yourself, how many times a day do you make yourself feel bad for the things that you are not doing? Do you start to change this, or do you keep making excuses and stay stuck wishing to have a better life? I was this person, I changed it. I realized that I couldn't keep going on the path of watching other people pursue their dreams, and hoping that one day I will get the life that I wanted, so I took control. I am here to help you steer off that path as well and onto a new, more fulfilling one. You have to push your limits someday. Why not let that be today?


 

A very common habit of our human nature is comparing ourselves to other people, and especially to the social media acceptance. We compare our journey, our image, our value, our knowledge, our goals, etc., and by doing this, it can give us new suggestions about what we like, & ideally help us to learn where we want to be in life. At times, it can be motivating and inspiring to see someone’s accomplishments, & it encourages us to start taking the right steps for ourselves towards that direction. Social media can be a great place for people to be who they are & find their own identity, but don’t let yourself get caught up in it. There is discipline that needs to be formed around it so that you don’t get in your own head.


The side to this that we internally struggle with, is questioning our worth & telling ourselves everyday that we are not good enough and that we will never get there because it is too late. It is easy for us to make excuses & feel sorry for ourselves & it is especially easy to be in this trap- get out of it because this is not healthy within any aspect of your life.


Follow along with this guide to get some direction on how to let go of that force of habit because you are the only person who can do this.


1. Change the way you are thinking.

You are likely asking yourself the wrong questions. Stop asking why that can't be your life, & start asking yourself how can that be your life. How can you create the best version of yourself? How can you reach your goals? How can you change your daily routines to be at the level of success that you want? How can you become better? Once you train your mind, you can start telling yourself what you are going to do & it won't be up for question anymore. To me it doesn't matter how I can do it, because I will do it either way & if there isn't a clear way, I will find one & I will get there no matter what it takes.


If you want to change it, then change it. Take note of your own interests, the things you like to do, your goals, your hobbies, and start applying them to your everyday life. Switch your mindset now, tell yourself that small progress is still progress, because if you really want it you’ll do something about it. Now it won’t come today and it won’t fall into your lap tomorrow, you have to become okay with realizing that the life you want is not going to be built in a day. You have to work hard towards your goals before you start to see improvement. If you cloud your mind with negative thoughts, you will not have any positive changes in your life.


2. Reduce and restore.

If you are constantly feeling defeated trying to deal with this social media façade, reduce the time that you are on your phone. I know that iPhone’s have a screen limit for apps, use it, like actually use it if you have to. Tell yourself that this is not healthy for your mind. Become aware of the things that trigger this negativity and avoid looking at these things. If you are not seeing it in a positive way, it’s time to cut it out. Set aside a specific time in your day to scroll around, and restore more time for yourself. Practice this daily & stop giving your entire day to other people.


3. Realize fabrication.

People will likely only show the good sides of their life, everyone has a chapter that they do not tell. You see the nice trips going around the country, you see the luxurious bags, the fancy dinners, the expensive accessories & clothes, the big homes, but what’s behind that? We don’t know, if anything. You can't judge someone's life off of what you see. There are times I realize that right now, I can’t have those nice things, & that’s okay to me because I know that I am building a life to where one day I will be able to have all the things I want. Are you working towards the life you want as well? Sure, you can experience their aesthetic for a weekend & mimic their hobbies, but are you going to keep applying that to your life, or will you do it for a few days & realize it's too hard to keep up? Well, you can't keep up with it because it is not you and it is not YOUR life, so stop obsessing over another person's life and start getting obsessed with YOURS. Create your own aesthetic. Write down your own goals and get closer to them each day.


4. Do it for you.

How are you going to achieve your goals if you are just sitting around everyday watching other people do it? Everyone starts somewhere, so when will you start? You have to stop making excuses & feeling sorry for yourself. Make sure the things that you are doing live up to your standard and are adequate for your life in the time being, stop rushing. This is YOUR timeline. It's okay to have one bad day, but don’t make it a habit & don’t make yourself feel guilty because you wasted time, just don’t waste anymore. Build your own confidence & always have a positive attitude about the things you are working on. Look back on the things you should or shouldn’t have done & learn from it. Prove it to yourself that you are capable of getting the life you want.



Practicing and applying this mindset will get you ahead of many people. You have to stop comparing yourself in a negative way & rearranging your life to fit the standards. Social media is not going anywhere so take a break if you need to and come back even better. Do not quit & do not give up- you can always start over, but how many times can you keep starting over before you get tired and give up again? Stay consistent for yourself if you want to keep moving forward.

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