Ask yourself, are you the people pleaser of your friend group? Do you feel like you always have to show up or else someone will be upset with you? Are you struggling with trying to work on yourself, while also not trying to shut your friends out? If this is you, keep reading this guide because I want to shed some light on why it is okay to not want to show up all the time and why you don’t have to keep dealing with these feelings.
Be Honest to Your Friends & to Yourself
Be open and give clarity where it is needed. Let the people close to you know how you feel & that you are trying to improve your life by including a lot more time for yourself. Your FRIENDS will understand because they don’t always need that down-to-the-core explanation. Friends want to see you thrive and want you to heal and grow to become greater. The people who don’t get this will continue to make you feel bad and say “You never have time for me. You never want to hang out. Why are you acting like this?” First, those people are NOT your friends and it seems they are only wanting you there for THEM to have a good time, which should have absolutely zero guilt on your part. Second, if someone gets mad at you for working on YOU, then they lack the qualities that it takes to be a true friend, and clearly do not have your best interests at heart. You are not obligated to anyone but yourself. This toxic environment that makes you feel bad and won’t allow you to self grow, is not your best option and it is time to eliminate it. It is hard to come to this decision, but it is you being honest with yourself & what you need in your life at that moment. Having a good friendship takes two people & you can only do your part for so long. If they question your choices, they will not applaud your excellence.
Try to Compromise
Maybe ask your friend(s) if you can do other things that relate to the new hobbies you are trying to build. Branch out and try more things, who knows, you might start leading them in the right direction with you. The people you choose to surround yourself with are very important when trying to build a better, more healthy version of yourself.
Being on the Other Side
If you find yourself not being that good friend, maybe take a step back & try to reconcile with them. Be more understanding of what they want in their life. They are likely not meaning to shut you out, so hear them when they speak to you. It will do more good than bad knowing that you are able to recognize where they are coming from because you never know what people are struggling with internally. It does not take much effort to be kind and understanding, so tone down the negativity energy. You will end up not having any serious friends if you think they all owe you their time every weekend. Figure out your own interests and how you can incorporate them into your life. You will become better with alone time and won't feel the pressure of needing company all the time.
You have to ask yourself if it is worth YOUR time trying to please everyone. Are these people showing up for you? Are they showing you love or support, and are you getting an even amount of friendship from them?
Remember, everyone is entitled to do what they want to do & be who they want to be while doing so, you cannot control someone else’s life. Educate the ones around you of your new habits and lifestyle that you are trying to achieve so that they don’t feel as if you are suddenly alienating them. It is okay to miss out on things sometimes, we could definitely all use a day or two to ourselves, especially if we are constantly around other people. Start making wiser choices & choosing healthier surroundings that are beneficial to your new life.